Texture Diaries is a space for Black women across industries to reflect on their journeys to self-love and how accepting their hair, in all its glory, played a pivotal role in this process. Each week these women share their favorite hair rituals and products and the biggest lessons they’ve learned when it comes to affirming their beauty and owning their unique hair texture.
Shay Lia’s soothing voice, layered atop funk-soul melodies, will draw you in immediately. The French-Djiboutian singer-songwriter, who first gained attention after working with Kaytranada on “Leave Me Alone” in 2014, is back with a new Afrobeat-inspired five-track EP, Solaris, all about “joy, dancing, warmth, and confidence.” The project, which she used to explore a new side of herself, includes the single “Love Me, Love Me Not,”, which touches on the feelings that come with getting rejected. “Melancholy and sensuality can blend into the same song,” she says of turning her vulnerability into empowerment.
Her contagious sound isn’t the only thing that’s evolved in recent years. Lia takes pride in her ability to shape-shift her glorious mane, which she recently transitioned from long to short. In addition to wanting healthier locks, she was simply looking for a change—detractors be damned. “When you have a physical trait that people like or think defines you, they really don’t want you to touch it, and I don’t like that,” she says. “I can cut it. And what if I want to be bald tomorrow? We should be able to do whatever we want and not be defined by what people think of us. Even though [my hair] is a big part of my identity, it’s not everything.”
This confidence didn’t fall from the sky. “I was often criticized for my hair growing up,” she recalled of her childhood in France. “ I got bullied a few times for it.” Later, when she moved to Djibouti to be with her father’s side of the family, seeing her aunts doing their own hair-care rituals was inspiring for young Shay. “It’s a Muslim country, so hair was not really out there. They don’t really show it. They would relax it and put it into a bun underneath beautiful fabric.” Lia eventually relaxed her hair from ages 7 to 13, after which she attempted to care for her hair on her own.
“I was figuring out how to handle this whole body thing,” she remembers. “Your body is changing, and people constantly comment on it and your hair. They’d say, ‘Can you comb your hair?’ But it was combed. It wasn’t good enough for people. I was really insecure about it.” Despite the discomfort that came with maturing, Lia is thankful to her family for their encouragement. “I’m lucky, though, because my father and my mother had always said to me that I have beautiful hair. Even though I was feeling like I had the worst hair texture ever, my dad would tell me, ‘You’re going to love your hair when you grow up. You will understand how to take care of it.’”
Today, the artist takes inspiration from the likes of Diana Ross. “What I love about her hair is that she never tried to make it look perfect.” To maintain her hair’s health, she often reaches for Vernon François’s line of products as well as SheaMoisture. The shea butter she gets during her trips to West Africa each year is another staple; Lia mixes it weekly with oils, creams, and powders like kapur kachri (known to nourish and strengthen the hair and scalp) for a deep treatment. “I’ve been doing this for a few months now, and it really helps.” Up next, she’s excited to dive into the world of weaves and wigs. “I’ve never tried them in my whole life. I think it’s going to be super fun and also a great way to protect your hair.”
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Her approach to hair care stems from her belief that self-care is a means of survival. “We can’t expect for people to make us happy,” she says. “We have to find some sort of self-connection. We have people that care for us, but they have no idea what’s going on in our mind. And we are responsible for that.” During the pandemic, Lia has turned to warm showers, books (like Muhammad Ali’s autobiography), and taking care of her skin. She’s also taken to setting goals for herself in her journal. “I’m a Virgo, so I love to plan,” she says.
Despite its difficulties, 2020’s plans have had creativity in the cards for Lia. Her new EP is a reflection of the self-love she’s honed over the years. “I understand now that when you’re special, people will try to make you feel less than,” she says. “But [self-confidence] gets better with time. I’m excited to reveal new sides of myself without caring what anyone thinks.”
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