Watch Natasha Lyonne Play A Handbag-Obsessed Security Guard

[baroque music]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies, not so fast.

Let's get those purses on the conveyor belt, huh?

Hello, what do we have here?

Now this is the kind of a bag that really knows

all the bars in Grand Central!

Hello, I'm a businesswoman, right?

That's yours, you can take it in.

Excuse moi, that's French.

What's this? The proposal I never got?

Bonjour baby!

I do indeed!

So mysterious, and yet so easy, like me in high school.

Yep! Somebody's gotta protect this place.

And that somebody is me.

Hey, no smoking! Whoa, come on!

I wasn't gonna do it, it's for dramatic effect!

Hear that rhythm? [tapping]

Before I was a security guard, I was a drummer,

local band.

Up, here she is!

Boom, boom, boom, let's go back to my room,

I'm talking to the bag, miss.

It's a little lock here, so it's kind of complicated.

OK, go ahead.

You never know what people are carrying, right ladies?

I'm gonna let you pick this baby up

after this weekend, OK?

I've got a hot date, I live somewhere near Hoboken.

Here's a bag that makes you remember

what you could'a, should'a tried to be.

Come on. I'm only human.

I'm sorry.

No.

[sniffing]

Just put it back through the belt, please, just one more.

Please.

God!

Next bag please!