Models Get Real About Body Image, Eating Disorders, and Size Discrimination

When I started modeling I was like a 38 hip,

which is like a lot bigger than what I am now.

I'm like a 35 now, which is not like huge,

but in modeling it's like huge.

I'm a model.

I'm a model.

I am a model. I'm a model.

I'm a model. I'm a model.

I'm a model. I am a model.

I am a model.

A couple weeks before my first season started

my ex-boyfriend and I got in a giant fight.

I kinda went to this like, really,

really low place where I just like, couldn't eat.

Just kind of lost like, a lot of weight from that

and then when I went to my agency

and I took digitals, I got all these options.

It was when I was like, the sickest I've ever been.

I went to meet with the agency

and they measured me and they told me that I needed to lose,

I think it was like, two inches off my hips

and maybe two off my waist.

I was a perfectionist so I associated

doing a good job with modeling with losing the weight.

So I did and it started out as just being more mindful,

I guess, and then it did escalate and escalate and escalate.

My lowest weight was 98 pounds when I was 17

and that was after I had just done

a very successful season in Paris.

There was one casting in London, I was 17.

I remember walking into the room full of people

and the designer gave me this bodysuit to put on.

There was no changing room, she made me just get naked.

And she took one look at my body

and kind of snickered and laughed.

Said, that's not gonna work,

and then walked out of the room.

Left me there naked to put back

on my clothes in a room full of people.

When you're 15, you already have

all this pressure all over, you know,

and to have everybody watch you grow up

and just judge you and all that

kind of stuff was tough, you know?

I went to Paris and after the first day of castings

my agency told me that the response

from my first day of castings for shows

was that I had gained too much weight

and was unusable for the shows.

We flew home the following day

and the day after that there was a headline

on the front page of the fashion section

of the Wall Street Journal that said,

model Ali Michael sent home for being too fat.

To have this expose on the thing

that I felt most insecure about in my life

reaching everyone was absolutely mortifying.

I don't know, I feel like I was publicly shamed

but you know, I also just shouldn't be a big deal, really.

But it did affect me at the time.

I wanted to hide and I didn't want

a lot of people kind of, putting carrots in my face

and putting me on front covers of newspapers.

What I was receiving for many years

was that my body was not right

and it's almost impossible to erase that.

And I thought

that I had really gotten it under control

and that I was in a really healthy place

and I earlier this month got the opportunity

to cast for this job that I've wanted for my whole career

and they tell you a month ahead of time

so you can get ready for it.

And the entire month was like torture for me.

[Interviewer] Did you get the job?

No.

I came into this industry as a teenager

and then I hit puberty and I was

no longer that teenager anymore.

I had boobs and you know, my body wasn't

as stick skinny anymore so I was pressured

to go back to being that runway girl.

I almost was told that like, modeling was done for me

and then Sports Illustrated kinda relaunched my career,

so it was a really amazing moment

because it was me being me on the cover of a magazine

and fully being accepted and embracing myself.

You don't just take the picture and go home

and then you don't know what happens with it.

This image where I've put myself out there in this way,

or I've been really vulnerable and real

and shown it all and just gone for it

has helped in some domino effect.

This woman, look at herself differently,

put on a bikini, go to the beach,

have fun with her friends,

and it completely changed why and how I do this job.

People are always like, how are you so confident?

Like, where did you get it?

And it's like, yeah, I open up a box,

and I just like, wore it today.

But like, I worked really hard to be 26

and okay with who I am and to do what I care about,

which at the end of the day,

is just creating space for more people to feel seen.

I booked the editorial and was freaking out

and didn't really know that that would be

the turning point of my career.

Once I saw the physical cover

and my face was there with the masthead,

it felt like time stopped

and now we started for sure a new chapter.

[dramatic music]